If you love outrageous comedy, over-the-top confidence, and the kind of one-liners that make you laugh out loud, then you’re in the right place. Kenny Powers, the infamous baseball pitcher from HBO’s Eastbound & Down, is a legend of unfiltered humor and larger-than-life bravado. Whether you’re looking for hilarious captions, bold comebacks, or just want to relive the best moments from the show, these Kenny Powers quotes have you covered.
Let’s dive into the wild, unapologetic, and downright hilarious world of Kenny Powers!
🔥 Best Kenny Powers Quotes for Every Situation
- “I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.”
- “Fundamentals are the crutch for the talentless.”
- “With great power comes great responsibility. False. With great power comes great ass-kicking.”
- “I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”
- “You’re f**ing* out!”
- “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s losing. If there are two things I hate, it’s losing and getting fat.”
- “I got two hard rules I live by: I don’t f*** with the devil, and I never do tag-teams with blood relatives.”
- “I can feel the money blowing out of me like a deep-sea diver with the bends.”
- “I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight… the coaches and owners not giving me the sh*t I need to win.”
- “Your butt is like a magnet to my eyes.”
- “I am better than everyone else in the world.”
- “I’ve been blessed with many things in this life—an arm like a damn rocket, a ck like a burmese python, and the mind of a f*ing scientist.”
- “Why can’t I be an American hero?”
- “Sometimes you gotta wash away the paint and let the natural beauty shine through.”
- “Winners win. Losers make excuses.”
⚾ Savage Kenny Powers Quotes for Ultimate Confidence
- “If you got something to say, say it. If not, let’s shut up and play ball.”
- “I’m in a crisis situation here. A reverse financial nightmare. So if you have something to say, let’s hear it.”
- “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I deal only in absolute truths.”
- “I’m Kenny Powers, and I am a bulletproof tiger.”
- “I’m not sure what your book says, but my book says no one can outwork Kenny Powers.”
- “Everybody loves a comeback story.”
- “I put the team on my back. I carried us to the championship.”
- “You’re either with me or against me. And if you’re against me, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
- “What’s my vision? Domination.”
- “I’m just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a f***ing cannon.”
- “In life, you gotta have goals. And my goal is to be the best at everything I do.”
- “When Kenny Powers walks in, the room gets brighter. It’s a scientific fact.”
- “It’s called winning. And I do it all the time.”
- “Some people have dreams. I have plans.”
- “I don’t ask for much. Just total control over everything and everyone.”
🤣 Hilarious Kenny Powers Quotes for a Good Laugh
- “I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m pretty damn close.”
- “The only thing standing between me and greatness… is me.”
- “I wake up in the morning and I p**s excellence.”
- “I may not be a role model, but I’m definitely a legend.”
- “I don’t read books. I stare them down until they give me the information I need.”
- “You think this is funny? This is real life, and in real life, Kenny Powers always wins.”
- “I’m all about second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances, as long as you know I’m always right.”
- “I have a PhD in winning.”
- “I live by the three B’s: Be Badass, Be Bold, Be Better Than You.”
- “If life gives you lemons, say f*** the lemons and bail.”
- “I’m not mean. I’m just honest.”
- “You can either love me or hate me. Either way, I’m still Kenny Powers.”
- “Confidence isn’t thinking you’re the best. It’s knowing no one else even comes close.”
- “The secret to success? Act like you own the place.”
- “The only thing I love more than myself is winning.”
🏆 Motivational Kenny Powers Quotes That Actually Make Sense
- “Sometimes you gotta lose to win.”
- “The road to greatness isn’t easy, but neither is being this awesome.”
- “If you believe in yourself, you can achieve anything. Especially if you’re me.”
- “Success is just failure turned inside out.”
- “Never let anyone tell you you’re not good enough. Unless they’re talking about anyone other than me.”
- “The only limits in life are the ones you refuse to break.”
- “If you want to be great, you gotta act like it.”
- “Don’t let small minds convince you your dreams are too big.”
- “Excuses are for losers. Winners just find a way.”
- “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”
- “Your mindset determines your outcome.”
- “You don’t have to be perfect, but you have to be better than the other guy.”
- “Every setback is a setup for a comeback.”
- “Greatness doesn’t happen overnight. But it happens faster if you stop whining and start working.”
- “If you want to be a legend, start acting like one.”
😂 Kenny Powers Quotes for the Ultimate Comebacks
- “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I asked for your opinion.”
- “You talk a big game for someone who’s never won anything.”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “That’s cute. You think you matter.”
- “Do I look like I care? Exactly.”
- “Your opinion is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”
- “Tell me more about how you know everything. I love fairy tales.”
- “You should try winning sometime. It’s pretty fun.”
- “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.”
- “You bring the drama, I’ll bring the popcorn.”
- “If I cared, I’d be offended.”
- “I could agree with you, but then we’d both be idiots.”
- “When I need advice, I’ll ask someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”
- “I don’t compete with people like you. It’s not fair to you.”
Final Thoughts: Which Kenny Powers Quote Is Your Favorite?
Kenny Powers is the king of confidence, comebacks, and comedy gold. Whether you need an epic caption, a savage response, or just a good laugh, his quotes deliver every time. So, which one is your favorite? Share it with your friends, and let the legend of Kenny Powers live on!
