Funny Bible Quotes to Make You Laugh & Think

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The Bible is full of wisdom, inspiration, and… humor? Absolutely! While it’s a sacred text, it also contains moments of irony, wit, and even some divine sarcasm. Whether you’re looking for a lighthearted scripture to share, a clever verse for a funny caption, or just some biblical humor to brighten your day, we’ve got you covered.

Let’s dive into some of the funniest Bible quotes that will make you smile while still delivering powerful messages!

1. Funny Bible Quotes About Laziness

Even the Bible has a few words for those who love to take it easy!

  • “As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed.” – Proverbs 26:14
  • “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief!” – Proverbs 6:10-11
  • “The lazy do not roast any game, but the diligent feed on the riches of the hunt.” – Proverbs 12:27
  • “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; he is too lazy to bring it back to his mouth.” – Proverbs 26:15
  • “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!” – Proverbs 6:6
  • “A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.” – Proverbs 13:4
  • “The way of the lazy is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.” – Proverbs 15:19
  • “The lazy person claims, ‘There’s a lion out there! If I go outside, I might be killed!’” – Proverbs 22:13
  • “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.” – Proverbs 14:23
  • “One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.” – Proverbs 18:9
  • “The lazy do not plow in season; at harvest time they look but find nothing.” – Proverbs 20:4
  • “How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?” – Proverbs 6:9
  • “Like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so are sluggards to those who send them.” – Proverbs 10:26
  • “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.” – Proverbs 12:24
  • “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10

2. Hilarious Bible Verses About Food

Because even God knows the struggle of loving food!

  • “Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.” – Proverbs 15:17
  • “Eat honey, my son, for it is good; honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.” – Proverbs 24:13
  • “Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life.’” – John 6:35 (Jesus was basically saying, “I am carbs, and carbs are life.”)
  • “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat.” – Proverbs 23:20
  • “You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.” – Psalm 128:2
  • “A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.” – Ecclesiastes 10:19
  • “Taste and see that the Lord is good!” – Psalm 34:8
  • “They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst, they gave me vinegar to drink.” – Psalm 69:21 (Basically, the worst meal ever.)
  • “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” – Matthew 4:4
  • “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.” – Proverbs 23:2 (Whoa, intense!)
  • “Then he ordered that they should give her something to eat.” – Mark 5:43 (Even Jesus knew that food is a priority!)
  • “Give us today our daily bread.” – Matthew 6:11
  • “The Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples.” – Isaiah 25:6
  • “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out.” – Matthew 15:11
  • “Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.” – Proverbs 17:1

3. Sarcastic and Sassy Bible Verses

Yes, the Bible has some sass!

  • “You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.” – Matthew 23:24
  • “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” – Proverbs 11:22
  • “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet as you leave.” – Matthew 10:14
  • “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.” – Philippians 2:14 (God knew we’d need this reminder.)
  • “A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.” – Proverbs 27:15
  • “Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach.” – 1 Timothy 5:23 (A little wine, not a whole bottle!)
  • “Don’t be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
  • “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:3
  • “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent.” – Proverbs 17:28
  • “A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul.” – Proverbs 18:7
  • “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:19
  • “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 1:14
  • “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” – Luke 9:62
  • “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” – Matthew 5:37
  • “Can a leopard change its spots?” – Jeremiah 13:23

Conclusion

The Bible isn’t just full of wisdom and faith—it’s got humor, sass, and some truly unexpected one-liners! Whether you’re looking for a witty verse to share, a funny scripture for a caption, or just a good laugh, these quotes show that even divine wisdom comes with a touch of humor.

Which one was your favorite? Share it with a friend and spread the laughter!

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