Wednesday Addams isn’t just a character—she’s a whole mood. With her signature deadpan humor and gothic charm, she delivers some of the most savage and witty one-liners that are perfect for Instagram captions, sassy comebacks, or just adding a little darkness to your day. Whether you’re a longtime fan of The Addams Family or fell in love with Jenna Ortega’s version in Wednesday, this list has the best Wednesday Addams quotes to match your vibe.
Savage Wednesday Addams Quotes for the Dark-Humored
If sarcasm is your love language, these Wednesday Addams quotes will speak to your soul.
- “I’m not perky.”
- “I don’t believe in happy endings.”
- “I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color.”
- “I act as if I don’t care… because I don’t.”
- “I don’t need therapy. I just need people to stop being stupid.”
- “You severely underestimate my apathy.”
- “I find social interactions… exhausting.”
- “I prefer my existence with a touch of existential dread.”
- “People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day.”
- “I have a gift for making people uncomfortable. It’s a talent, really.”
- “Smiling gives you wrinkles. I avoid it at all costs.”
- “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
- “You sound better with your mouth closed.”
- “Why fit in when I can stand out… as terrifying?”
- “If looks could kill, I’d be serving life in prison.”
Wednesday Addams Quotes Perfect for Instagram Captions
Need a caption that’s equal parts creepy and cool? Wednesday’s got you covered.
- “Dressed in black, like my soul.”
- “Monochrome is a lifestyle.”
- “Too weird to live, too rare to die.”
- “I’m not antisocial, just selectively social.”
- “My resting witch face is permanent.”
- “I put the ‘fun’ in funeral.”
- “Chilling in my natural habitat—gloomy and fabulous.”
- “Darkness suits me.”
- “Life’s too short to wear bright colors.”
- “Mysterious, spooky, and a little kooky.”
- “The only thing I collect is grudges.”
- “My vibe? Haunted mansion at midnight.”
- “Feeling ghoulish, but make it fashion.”
- “If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.”
- “Caution: Contents may be darker than they appear.”
Funny Wednesday Addams Quotes That Prove She’s the Queen of Sarcasm
Wednesday’s humor is as sharp as a knife—prepare to be cut.
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “Normal is just a polite way of saying boring.”
- “If I had a dollar for every time I cared, I’d be broke.”
- “I thrive in chaos. It’s where I feel most at home.”
- “I’m only mean on days that end in ‘y’.”
- “Me? Dramatic? Never. Now excuse me while I disappear into the shadows.”
- “I could agree with you, but that would make us both wrong.”
- “You think I have a dark sense of humor? Wait until you hear my thoughts.”
- “I don’t chase dreams. I haunt them.”
- “Being dead inside saves me a lot of emotional effort.”
- “Caffeine and sarcasm keep me going.”
- “I’m only here because my coven said I had to socialize.”
- “Evil never looked this good.”
- “My hobbies include avoiding people and perfecting my withering glare.”
- “I love horror movies because they remind me of family reunions.”
Creepy and Iconic Wednesday Addams Quotes for Halloween Vibes
These quotes bring just the right amount of spookiness to your October aesthetic.
- “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
- “Ghosts are just people too… dead people.”
- “I don’t have nightmares—I am one.”
- “The moon is full. Time to embrace the darkness.”
- “I don’t run. Unless something’s chasing me.”
- “Halloween is just my personality in holiday form.”
- “If I disappear into the fog, don’t come looking.”
- “Every day is Halloween if you try hard enough.”
- “Some people have skeletons in their closets. I have a whole graveyard.”
- “I put a hex on anyone who disturbs my peace.”
- “I don’t need a costume—I’m naturally spooky.”
- “The only thing scarier than ghosts? People who like small talk.”
- “Bats are just misunderstood goth birds.”
- “Witches have covens. I have my group chat.”
- “I’d be a great ghost—silent, moody, and good at disappearing.”
Wednesday Addams Quotes About Life, Love, and Not Caring
Wednesday has wisdom—just in her own wonderfully cynical way.
- “Love is a battlefield. I prefer a haunted house.”
- “Happiness is overrated. Mystery is far more interesting.”
- “You either like me, or you don’t. It’s not my problem.”
- “The best way to avoid heartbreak? Don’t have a heart.”
- “Feelings? I’ll pass.”
- “People come and go, but my dark aesthetic is forever.”
- “If they don’t understand your vibe, they’re not your people.”
- “I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I need a partner in crime.”
- “The best way to win an argument? Walk away dramatically.”
- “Loyalty is rare. Like a good horror movie sequel.”
- “Love is temporary. My bad attitude is forever.”
- “I’d rather be alone than surrounded by the wrong energy.”
- “Silence is golden, unless I’m ignoring you—then it’s priceless.”
- “Self-care is ignoring people who drain my energy.”
- “If someone tries to change you, haunt their dreams instead.”
Iconic Wednesday Addams Quotes from the Movies and TV Shows
The best Wednesday Addams moments, straight from the screen.
- “I’m not in danger. I am the danger.” (Wednesday)
- “Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.” (The Addams Family)
- “I enjoy funerals. I’ve always felt a kinship with the dead.” (Wednesday)
- “You severely underestimate my apathy.” (Wednesday)
- “I may be smiling, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy.” (The Addams Family)
- “I’m allergic to color.” (Wednesday)
- “I don’t believe in coincidences. I prefer inevitabilities.” (Wednesday)
- “I know I’m stubborn, single-minded, and obsessive. But those are all traits of great writers… and serial killers.” (Wednesday)
- “I do love stabbing. The social part, not so much.” (Wednesday)
- “I have a knack for making people want to run away.” (The Addams Family)
- “I’m not interested in making friends. I already have one.” (Wednesday)
- “The world isn’t always kind to the peculiar.” (Wednesday)
- “I see the world differently. It’s my gift… and my curse.” (Wednesday)
- “Some people get a rush from skydiving. I prefer near-death experiences of a different kind.” (Wednesday)
- “Dead people are much easier to get along with.” (The Addams Family)
Final Thoughts: Pick Your Favorite Wednesday Addams Quote!
Whether you’re feeling spooky, sassy, or downright savage, Wednesday Addams has the perfect quote for your mood. Which one is your favorite? Share it with your friends—or keep it to yourself, Wednesday-style.
